Romans 12:9-21

Romans 12:9 (AMP)
”Love is to be sincere and active [the real thing—without guile and hypocrisy]. Hate what is evil [detest all ungodliness, do not tolerate wickedness]; hold on tightly to what is good.”

Authentic Love

A great actor can make you forget you are watching someone perform. For a couple of hours, they can convince you they are brave, compassionate, generous, or deeply in love with someone they may barely know in real life. They can cry without being heartbroken, show affection without actually feeling it, and deliver words someone else wrote as though they came straight from their heart. That is what makes great acting so convincing. What we see on the outside does not necessarily reflect what is happening on the inside. Acting may deserve an award on screen, but it has no place in how followers of Jesus love others.

Many believers may feel tempted to put on a “show” for others. We can smile, say the right things, and appear loving enough to convince others that what they see is real. But Paul tells believers who have offered themselves as living sacrifices that their love is to be genuine. That doesn’t mean every believer will express love in the same way or that loving others will always come easily. Some may have grown up surrounded by affection, while others may still be learning what healthy, Christlike love looks like. Some may have even been deeply hurt when they opened themselves up to others. Paul isn’t calling us to manufacture emotions we don’t have. He calls us to sincerely love others from what God is producing within us. That love may look different from person to person, but it should be real.

Genuine love also changes what we are willing to tolerate. Paul immediately follows his command to love sincerely with the strong instruction to “hate what is evil.” Those ideas may initially seem like opposites, but they belong together. If we genuinely love God and love people, we cannot become comfortable with what destroys what God loves. Paul deliberately uses strong language here. Don’t excuse evil, make peace with it, or entertain it. Learn to see it for what it is and turn away from it. Genuine Christian love does not mean accepting everything. We are called to love people sincerely while rejecting what God calls evil and holding tightly to what He calls good.

But Paul doesn’t leave us focused only on what we should reject. He tells us to “hold on tightly to what is good.” The word suggests clinging to something or being joined closely to it. As God teaches you to love genuinely and reject what is evil, cling to what He says is good. There may be moments when loving sincerely is difficult or when walking away from something wrong feels like you are missing out. Hold on to what is good anyway. God is not simply calling you away from something. He is calling you toward something better. There is no need to perform or pretend. Let God continue His transforming work within you so that the love people see on the outside increasingly reflects what He is producing on the inside.

Practice This:

Pay attention to how you respond to people today, especially those who are difficult for you to love. Instead of simply trying to look loving, ask God to reveal what is happening in your heart. Look for one opportunity to express genuine love, turn away from something you know is wrong, or intentionally choose what God says is good. Don’t perform. Respond honestly to the work God is doing within you.

Prayer:

Father, I don’t want my love for others to be a performance. Continue transforming my heart so that what people see on the outside reflects what You are doing within me. May my love be sincere, my rejection of evil be serious, and my grip on what is good grow stronger. Let the way I love others increasingly reflect the genuine love You have shown me. Amen.

Romans 12:10-12 (ESV)
“10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. 11 Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. 12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.”

Wax On, Wax Off

There was a famous movie in the 1980s called The Karate Kid. The story followed a teenager named Daniel who moved with his mom to a new area and had to start over at a new school. After becoming the target of some bullies, Daniel was rescued by Mr. Miyagi, a man who eventually agreed to teach him karate. When Daniel first showed up ready to learn how to fight, Mr. Miyagi didn’t start by teaching him punches and kicks. Instead, he put him to work. He had Daniel wax cars, paint fences, and repeat the same movements over and over again. After some time, Daniel became frustrated. He came to learn karate, not do chores. What Daniel didn’t realize was that every seemingly pointless movement had a purpose. Mr. Miyagi was building habits and reactions into Daniel that he would eventually need when it was time to defend himself.

When the believers in Rome read Paul’s instructions, they may have felt like they were reading a rapid list of things they were supposed to do. Love fellow believers like family. Try to outdo one another in showing honor, even when they may have wanted the credit, applause, or recognition for themselves. These instructions would have challenged believers from very different backgrounds who were learning to live as one body in Christ. Paul was teaching them a completely different way to relate to one another. Instead of using status to elevate themselves over others, they were to become people who genuinely loved one another and eagerly looked for opportunities to show honor.

Paul continued by telling them not to become lazy in their zeal, but to remain fervent in spirit as they served the Lord. Then the instructions came quickly: rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, and remain constant in prayer. They were to keep serving even when it became difficult, hold on to hope when circumstances grew uncertain, remain patient when trials did not disappear quickly, and through it all, keep praying. These were not practices reserved for extraordinary moments of faith. They were ordinary patterns of obedience that God used to shape the way they lived.

Daniel didn’t understand why Mr. Miyagi had him repeating those ordinary movements, but eventually he discovered that none of them were wasted. Paul’s instructions may seem simple and repetitive too, but they are more than a list of spiritual chores. Love others. Show honor. Serve faithfully. Rejoice in hope. Remain patient. Keep praying. These are the practices of a life that is learning to look more like Jesus. We may not always recognize what God is doing in us as we faithfully obey Him, just as Daniel didn’t recognize what was happening through his training. But we can trust the One who is training us. Keep practicing what He has taught you, even when it feels ordinary. God is using it to shape you, little by little, into the image of Christ.

Practice this:

Choose one of Paul’s instructions to intentionally practice today. Love someone like family. Look for an opportunity to honor someone else. Serve with passion. Rejoice in the hope you have in Christ. Remain patient when something becomes difficult. Spend intentional time in prayer. Whichever you choose, don’t dismiss it because it seems simple. Practice it faithfully and trust that God is using even ordinary acts of obedience to shape you to become more like Jesus.

Prayer:

Father, I trust that You are at work in me, even when I cannot see what You are doing. Keep my heart faithful in the ordinary moments and willing to follow You when obedience feels repetitive or unnoticed. I want my life to look more like Jesus, not only in the big moments, but in the small choices I make every day. I trust You with the process. Amen.

Romans 12:13-16 (ESV)
“13 Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. 14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.” 

He Must Increase, and I Must Decrease

When Jesus began His earthly ministry, His cousin John the Baptist already had a following. Crowds came to hear him preach, people responded to his message of repentance, and he even had disciples who faithfully followed him. By today’s standards, John might have been considered successful. But John understood that his ministry was never supposed to be about building his own platform. He had come to prepare the way for Jesus. When people began noticing that more people were going to Jesus, John wasn’t threatened by it. He responded with words that captured the posture of his life: “He must increase, but I must decrease.” John was willing to surrender attention, influence, and even his own disciples because what mattered most was that people saw Jesus.

Paul’s instructions in Romans 12 reflect that same kind of heart. For those who desire to live as living sacrifices, life can no longer revolve around protecting our comfort, getting our way, or making everything about ourselves. Paul told believers not only to notice others' needs, but to help meet them. They were to pursue hospitality and open their lives to people who needed it. When they were mistreated, they were not to seek revenge or return hurt for hurt, but to bless those who persecuted them. They were to rejoice when someone else had reason to celebrate and weep when someone else was hurting. Each instruction required them to step outside their own story long enough to enter someone else’s.

That same heart posture continued as Paul told them to live in harmony, put away pride, associate with the lowly, and stop being wise in their own eyes. A common thread runs through it all: less of me. Less concern about my comfort. Less need to protect my pride. Less obsession with my status, my recognition, and my way. And as self moves out of the center, there is more room for Jesus to be seen. His love becomes visible through the meal shared, the door opened, the blessing offered instead of retaliation, the tears shared with someone who was hurting, and the friendship extended to someone others might overlook.

John understood that decreasing wasn’t about believing he had no value. It was about recognizing that his life was meant to point beyond himself to Jesus. The same is true for us. We can loosen our grip on recognition, comfort, and status and open our hands, our homes, and our lives to others. We can celebrate with someone who is rejoicing, sit beside someone who is hurting, and choose humility when pride wants to take over. When people look at your life, who do they see more of: you or Jesus? Let the way we love and serve others point beyond ourselves so that people see more of Jesus. Let our lives echo John's heart: He must increase, and we must decrease.

Practice this:

Look for one opportunity today to make someone else the focus. Meet a need without being asked, celebrate someone else’s good news, sit with someone who is hurting, or show kindness to someone you would normally avoid. Do it without looking for recognition or anything in return. Let the way you love someone today point beyond you to Jesus.

Prayer:

Father, there are times when I want to be noticed, appreciated, or have things go my way. I don’t want those desires to keep others from seeing Jesus in me. Loosen my grip on pride, comfort, and recognition. Let the way I welcome, encourage, celebrate, and care for others point beyond me to You. I want more of Jesus to be seen through my life and less of my need to be noticed. You must increase, and I must decrease. Amen.

Romans 12:17-19 (ESV)
“17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 

Trusting God When You’ve Been Wronged

Do you trust God when it comes to justice? When someone has deeply hurt you, do you ever wonder if God will turn a blind eye, forget what happened, or simply allow the person to get away with it? If so, you are not alone. Wanting justice is deeply human, especially when we have experienced real pain. Sometimes the struggle is not believing that God is capable of justice, but knowing that He is also gracious. Jonah wrestled with this very thing. He admitted that he did not want to go to Nineveh because he knew God was “gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.” Jonah knew God might show mercy to people he believed deserved judgment, and he wanted no part of it.

God is gracious, and that is good news because we have received that same grace. We deserved judgment for our own sin, yet God extended mercy to us through Jesus. But trusting His grace for ourselves can sometimes be easier than trusting what He chooses to do with someone who has hurt us. Paul tells believers not to repay evil for evil, but to “give thought to do what is honorable.” In other words, when someone wrongs you, your response doesn’t have to be controlled by what they did. Rather than immediately reacting out of anger or hurt, consider what would honor God. Then Paul adds, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” You can’t control whether another person chooses peace, but you can surrender your response to God.

What’s worth noting is that Paul doesn’t focus too much on the offender. His attention is on the heart and actions of the believer. In John 21, after Jesus restored Peter and told him what following Him would cost, Peter looked at John and asked, “What about him?” Jesus responded, “What is that to you? You follow me.” Sometimes we desperately want to know what God will do about someone else. Will they face consequences? Will they ever understand what they did? Will God really hold them accountable? But Jesus continues calling our attention back to our own obedience. Their response belongs to them. Justice belongs to God. Following Jesus belongs to you.

We gladly trust God with mercy when we need forgiveness. Can we also trust Him with justice when we are the ones who have been wronged? Paul doesn’t say evil doesn't matter or that God simply overlooks what happened. He says, “Never avenge yourselves,” because vengeance belongs to God. You do not have to pretend the hurt was insignificant, excuse what was wrong, or deny that justice matters. You can release your need to personally settle the score because you trust the One who sees everything. Trust God with the mercy you have received and trust Him with the justice you can’t control. Both belong in His hands.

Practice this:

Think about someone who has hurt you or a situation where you still want things to be made right. Pay attention to what happens in your heart when you think about it. Are you replaying the offense, imagining how they should pay, or waiting for God to give them what you think they deserve? Bring that desire for justice honestly before God today. You don’t have to excuse what happened or pretend it didn’t hurt. Simply release your need to settle the score and trust God with what happens next.

Prayer:

Father, You know what happened, You know how deeply it hurt, and You know the parts of me that still want justice on my terms. I don’t want someone else’s actions to determine the kind of person I become. I trust that You see what I cannot see and know what I do not know. I place the offense, the person, and the outcome in Your hands. Keep my attention on following Jesus and trust You with everything that belongs to You. Amen.

Romans 12:20-21 (ESV)
“20 To the contrary, ‘if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.’ 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

The Choice is Yours

A common misconception about following Jesus is that life becomes easy at the point of salvation. Following Jesus changes our lives, but it doesn’t mean believers are suddenly exempt from trials, challenges, difficult people, or even evil. Life still happens. People will still hurt us. Storms will still come. And when they do, Jesus calls us to respond in ways that may feel completely contrary to our natural instincts or even how we were raised. Instead of simply reacting the way we always have, we’re called to respond in obedience to Jesus.

Jesus illustrated this at the end of the Sermon on the Mount by describing two people who heard His words but responded very differently. One built his house on the rock, representing someone who heard Jesus’ words and put them into practice. The other built on sand, representing someone who heard the same words but didn’t live them out. Both faced a storm, showing us that trials and pressures come regardless of which foundation we choose. Neither was spared from the storm, but the outcome was very different. The house built on sand was destroyed, while the house built on the rock remained standing.

Paul presents believers with a similar choice. Evil will come, but we don’t have to let it determine our response. Instead, Paul gives us a radically different way to respond. If your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him something to drink. Instead of returning evil for evil, overcome it with good. That doesn’t mean pretending the evil never happened or letting someone keep hurting you. It means refusing to let someone else’s evil determine who you become. Their actions don’t get to determine your obedience to Jesus.

Storms will come, and sometimes they come through the actions of other people. When they do, remember what you’ve built your life on. Anger, bitterness, revenge, and retaliation may feel natural, but Jesus calls us to respond differently. Keep putting His words into practice, especially when obedience is difficult. You don’t have to let someone else’s evil determine what comes out of you. Evil doesn’t have to have the final word. Through Christ, overcome evil with good.

Practice this:

Pay attention to how you respond when someone frustrates, disappoints, or hurts you today. Before reacting the way you normally would, stop and ask yourself, “What would obedience to Jesus look like right now?” Look for an opportunity to respond with kindness, patience, or generosity when your natural reaction wants to do something different. Put His words into practice and overcome evil with good.

Prayer:

Father, when storms come and people hurt me, I want my response to show that my life is built on You. There are times when anger, bitterness, or retaliation feels easier than obedience. In those moments, remind me of the words of Jesus and help me live them out. I don’t want someone else’s actions to determine what comes out of me. Let my life be rooted in You so that even when evil comes against me, I respond with what is good. Amen.