Romans 14:1-12

A Quick Note: Throughout this week’s devotionals, I’ll use the phrase “secondary issues” several times. Secondary issues are beliefs or practices that Christians may disagree about without denying the essential truths of the Christian faith or the gospel. These issues matter, but they don’t save us or determine whether someone is a follower of Jesus.

Romans 14:1 (ESV)
“As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions.”

An Invite to the King’s Table

Imagine receiving a personal invitation from Jesus to sit at His table. Not simply to share a meal with Him one time, but an invitation to know Him personally, learn from Him, experience His grace, hear His wisdom, and walk with Him through life. Some of us might reread the name and address on the envelope just to make sure we didn’t accidentally pick up someone else’s mail. You might think, “This couldn’t be meant for me.” After all, you know your character, accomplishments, talents, or faithfulness, let alone your past failures, could never earn you an invitation like this. But you check again. The name is yours. The address is correct. The invitation really is for you. Not because you earned your place at the table, but because you placed your faith in Christ and He welcomed you by grace. 

That invitation tells us something beautiful about the grace of God. Jesus demonstrated that kind of grace throughout His earthly ministry. He welcomed social outcasts, tax collectors, sinners, and people others were quick to reject. He shared meals with people the religious crowd questioned and made room for people others had pushed aside. Jesus didn’t wait for people to clean themselves up before allowing them near Him. He welcomed them, loved them, and called them to follow Him. Grace made room at the table, and that same grace should shape the way we make room for others.

Paul now tells the believers in Rome to extend that same kind of welcome to “the one who is weak in faith.” He isn’t describing someone who is physically, mentally, or emotionally weak. Paul describes the weaker brother as someone whose conscience and convictions may differ regarding matters like what they could eat or which days they considered special. Some believers felt freedom in areas where others still had reservations. Paul’s instruction wasn’t to exclude them, look down on them, or immediately argue them into changing their minds. He simply says, “welcome him.” There should be room at the table for believers who are still wrestling with their convictions and learning how to faithfully follow Jesus, even when they haven’t reached the same conclusions we have on every secondary issue.

God welcomed you by grace, and now He calls you to extend that same grace to others. There may be conversations, questions, encouragement, and opportunities to learn from one another, but those conversations are often better when they grow out of relationship rather than an argument. Don’t make someone feel like they must agree with you before they’re welcome at the table. Christ has already extended the invitation. Take time to know the person sitting across from you. Hear their story, listen to their perspective, and build a relationship. The opinion you disagree about should never become more important than the person sitting across from you. Make room at the table, pull up a chair, and welcome them.

Practice This:

Think about a believer you disagree with on a secondary issue. Instead of preparing your argument or trying to change their mind, make an effort to know the person. Ask them about themselves, listen to their story, share a meal, or simply spend time together. Remember, they don’t have to agree with you to have a seat at the table. Christ has already extended the invitation.

Prayer:

Father, thank You for welcoming me when I could never earn a place at Your table. Keep me from allowing disagreements or opinions to become more important than the people You love. Help me listen before I argue, seek relationship before trying to prove a point, and extend the same patience and grace You have shown me. Let there always be room at my table for the people You have welcomed at Yours. Amen.

Romans 14:2-4 (ESV)
“2 One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables. 3 Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him. 4 Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand.”

Who Put You in Charge?

One of the stereotypes about the oldest child in a family is that they can become a younger version of their parents. Mom and Dad leave them in charge of their younger siblings, and suddenly they get a little taste of authority. “Stop doing that!” “Mom said no!” “If you do that again, I’m telling Dad!” The problem is that sometimes that little taste of authority carries over into moments when they were never put in charge. They still give orders, keep track of what everyone is doing wrong, and make sure Mom and Dad hear about it because justice needs to be served. Somewhere along the way, they stopped simply being a sibling and started acting like they were the parent.

That doesn’t only happen in families. We can do something similar in the church when we begin assuming a role God never gave us. We can look at another believer’s convictions, decisions, or freedoms and start acting as though we are their spiritual parent. We determine what they should do, decide whether they’re right or wrong, and sometimes even question their relationship with God because they don’t practice their faith exactly like we do. But there is a difference between lovingly helping another believer when Scripture is clear and passing judgment on them over an issue where Scripture allows freedom. We need the humility to know the difference.

That’s what Paul addresses in Romans 14. Some believers felt free to eat anything, while others believed they should abstain from certain foods. Paul tells the one who eats not to despise the one who doesn’t, and he tells the one who abstains not to judge the one who eats. Then Paul asks a powerful question: “Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another?” That believer doesn’t ultimately answer to you. They answer to God. Paul even reminds them, “God has welcomed him.” In other words, be careful about rejecting someone God has already welcomed. When it comes to these secondary matters, stay in your lane and let God be God.

That can be difficult because sometimes we’re convinced we know what another believer should do. We may even wonder why God isn’t correcting them as quickly as we think He should. But God isn’t ignoring them, and He hasn’t asked us to take His place. He is at work in their heart just as He is at work in ours. That should keep us humble because we’re still growing too. There may even be convictions or opinions we hold today that God will refine as we continue to know Him and understand His Word. You can love someone, encourage them, and even disagree with them without trying to become their judge. You’re their brother or sister, not their Master. Stay in your lane, let God be God, and trust Him with the person standing beside you.

Practice this:

Think about a believer whose choices or convictions you disagree with. Ask yourself whether Scripture clearly addresses the issue or if it’s an area where believers can have different convictions. If it’s a secondary issue, resist the urge to judge, correct, or keep track of what you think they’re doing wrong. Pray for them, encourage them, and trust God to work in their life. Stay in your lane and let God be God.

Prayer:

Father, forgive me for the times I’ve tried to take a role that belongs to You. Keep me humble when I disagree with other believers and remind me that I’m still growing too. Help me know when to speak and when to trust You to work in someone’s heart. I want to be a faithful brother or sister, not someone trying to take Your place. You are their Master, and I trust You with their life and mine. Amen.

Romans 14:5-8 (ESV)
“5 One person esteems one day as better than another, while another esteems all days alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. 6 The one who observes the day, observes it in honor of the Lord. The one who eats, eats in honor of the Lord, since he gives thanks to God, while the one who abstains, abstains in honor of the Lord and gives thanks to God. 7 For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. 8 For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s.”

Unto the Lord

Have you ever heard the phrase, “Give someone an inch, and they’ll take a mile”? That phrase probably came from the experience of someone helping another in need but ultimately being taken advantage of. Who likes being taken advantage of? When it happens to us or to someone we love, our guard goes up while our trust in people goes down. Just as our guard can go up around people we don’t trust, it can also go up around fellow believers who practice their faith in ways we don’t agree with. We may begin to wonder, “If they have this much freedom in Christ, what’s keeping them from taking it too far?”

That same concern could have easily existed among the believers in Rome. As Paul continues addressing secondary issues, he doesn’t give them an exhaustive list of everything they can and can’t do. Instead, he addresses issues that were dividing believers, including what they ate and which days they considered special. These believers came from different backgrounds and traditions, so faithfully following Jesus didn’t always look exactly the same for each of them. Paul allowed room for different convictions on these matters because these disagreements didn’t change the gospel that united them. But Christian liberty wasn’t permission to do whatever they wanted. Their freedom had a guardrail.

Paul repeatedly tells them that whether they ate or abstained, observed a special day or didn’t, they were to do it “in honor of the Lord.” The one who observed a special day did it for the Lord. The one who ate did it for the Lord. The one who abstained did it for the Lord. Then Paul broadens the principle: “For if we live, we live to the Lord.” Their convictions might look different, but their purpose should be the same. Christian freedom isn’t about asking, “How much can I get away with?” It’s about asking, “Can I do this in a way that honors Jesus?” Our freedom has boundaries, and one of the greatest guardrails is whether our choices glorify God.

That same question should shape how we treat believers whose convictions differ from ours. We might be convinced we’re right about a secondary issue, but we still have to ask whether our response honors the Lord. Does the way you speak about your brothers and sisters honor Jesus? Does the way you disagree with them honor Jesus? Does your attitude toward them honor Jesus? We may worry that someone else will take their freedom too far, but while God is working in their heart, He is also working in ours. Their freedom belongs to the Lord, and so does our response to it. Our lives belong to Him, including our opinions, our freedoms, and the way we treat one another. Whatever you choose to do, be found doing it unto the Lord.

Practice this:

Think about an area where another believer practices their faith differently than you. Before questioning their freedom, examine your own response. Does the way you speak about them honor the Lord? Does your attitude toward them honor the Lord? Does the way you disagree with them honor the Lord? Remember, their freedom belongs to the Lord, and so does your response. Whatever you do, be found doing it unto the Lord.

Prayer:

Father, my life belongs to You. Let that truth shape my choices, my freedoms, my opinions, and the way I treat other believers. Keep me from using my freedom selfishly or becoming critical of those whose convictions differ from mine. I want my decisions and my response to others to bring You glory. Whatever I do, let me do it unto You. Amen.

Romans 14:9 (ESV)
“For to this end Christ died and lived again, that he might be Lord both of the dead and of the living.”

Trust the Lord

Usually once a year, Americans come together to celebrate the anniversary of our nation’s birth. People celebrate in different ways. Some look forward to fireworks, others to barbecues, parades, or simply spending time with family. We may have different traditions, backgrounds, political opinions, and ideas about what our country should look like, but that day reminds us of something we share. Despite all our differences, we’re still part of the same nation. For a moment, what unites us can become bigger than what divides us.

Paul has been reminding the believers in Rome of something similar, but far greater. They had different backgrounds, convictions, and practices. They disagreed about what they could eat and which days they should consider special. Yet despite those differences, they shared something much greater than any secondary issue that divided them: Jesus was Lord of them all. They had received the same invitation to salvation, the same call to offer their lives as living sacrifices, and the same responsibility to live unto the Lord. They didn’t have to agree on everything to belong to the same family because they belonged to the same Lord.

That’s worth remembering when another believer does something you disagree with. Jesus is Lord of the believer sitting next to you, the believer across town, the believer in another denomination, and even the believer whose convictions frustrate you. That doesn’t mean we never correct, rebuke, encourage, or challenge one another. Scripture calls us to do those things in love. But at some point, we have to remember that we aren’t their master. Jesus is. We can speak truth, offer encouragement, and faithfully do our part, but ultimately, they answer to Him. If they need correction, Jesus can correct them. If they need conviction, Jesus can convict them. If they need grace, Jesus can give it.

That truth should bring us some peace. You don’t have to carry the burden of being someone else’s master or judge. Be faithful to what God has called you to do. Love your brothers and sisters. Speak truth when necessary. Encourage them. Pray for them. Focus on walking obediently before God yourself, and trust Jesus with what belongs to Him. We can control how we respond and whether we live obediently unto the Lord, but we can’t control everyone around us. Thankfully, we don’t have to. Jesus is Lord of those we agree with and those we don’t. He is Lord over you, Lord over them, and we can rest knowing that He is Lord over all.

Practice this:

Think about a believer whose choices, convictions, or actions frustrate you. Have you faithfully done what God has called you to do? Maybe that means encouraging them, speaking truth, praying for them, or having a difficult conversation. Do your part faithfully, then release what you can’t control. Focus on walking obediently before God yourself, and trust Jesus with what belongs to Him.

Prayer:

Father, thank You that I don’t have to carry the responsibility of being someone else’s master. Jesus is Lord over me, over the people I agree with, and over the people I don’t. Help me be faithful to speak truth, encourage others, and love my brothers and sisters well without trying to control them. Keep my attention on my own obedience and help me trust You with what I can’t control. Jesus is Lord of all, and I can rest in that truth. Amen.

Romans 14:10-12 (ESV)
“10 Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God; 11 for it is written, ‘As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God.’ 12 So then each of us will give an account of himself to God.”

Get Your Eyes Off of Others

One timeless truth we see throughout Scripture is that people love to compare themselves with one another. We look around to figure out where we stand spiritually, morally, financially, or in almost any other area of life. Sometimes looking at someone else can inspire us to grow, but comparison can quickly become dangerous. We can look at someone doing better than us and become frustrated or discouraged because we feel like we’ll never measure up. Or we can look at someone we think is doing worse and become filled with pride because they haven’t reached the place we think we have. The danger comes when we become so focused on where everyone else stands that we stop paying attention to where we stand.

We see this tendency throughout the Gospels. There was deep hostility between Jews and Samaritans, with Samaritans often being looked down upon because of their mixed history, religious practices, and differences with the Jewish people. The Pharisees regularly looked down on people they considered sinners while failing to recognize the sin in their own hearts. One example came when a woman caught in adultery was brought before Jesus. Her accusers were ready to condemn her, but Jesus responded, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” One by one, they walked away. Jesus didn’t ignore her sin, but He exposed how easy it is to see someone else’s failures while overlooking our own.

Paul gives a similar reminder to believers who were divided over their convictions. Jesus isn’t only Lord of everyone who places their faith in Him. He is also the Judge before whom every believer will stand. Paul asks, “Why do you pass judgment on your brother?” and then reminds them, “each of us will give an account of himself to God.” Notice where Paul directs their attention. Not toward the account someone else will give, but toward their own. We can spend so much time examining someone else’s convictions, choices, and obedience that we lose sight of our own. One day, they will give an account of their life to God, and you will give an account of yours. Let Jesus be their Judge and focus on faithfully following Him yourself.

That can be both a warning and an encouragement. It’s a warning for those of us who are quick to criticize, compare, and pass judgment. Get your eyes off everyone else long enough to ask where you need to surrender, repent, grow, and obey. But it’s also an encouragement when it seems like someone else is taking advantage of their freedom and God isn’t doing anything about it. God sees. God knows. Jesus is Lord, and Jesus is Judge. You don’t have to carry the burden of keeping everyone else accountable before God. Love them, encourage them, speak truth when necessary, and then trust God with what belongs to Him. When you’re tempted to ask, “What about them?” remember Jesus’ words to Peter: “What is that to you? You follow me.”

Practice This:

Pay attention to how often you compare your faith, choices, or convictions with someone else’s. When you catch yourself becoming critical, judgmental, or even prideful, turn the focus back to your own walk with Jesus. Ask yourself, “Where do I need to surrender, repent, grow, or obey?” Let God handle their account while you faithfully follow Him.

Prayer:

Father, it’s easy for me to notice what others are doing wrong while overlooking areas in my own life that need Your attention. Keep me humble and focused on faithfully following You. When I’m tempted to compare, criticize, or judge another believer, remind me that they will answer to You, and so will I. I trust You to be their Judge while I focus on being obedient to You. Amen.